Chapter Two

May

Natalie stared at the blank computer screen in front of her, mesmerized by the blinking cursor. She had agonized over this for weeks now. Finally, she had decided on an approach, but actually putting it in motion was nerve-wracking. She turned her attention to the crumpled piece of paper next to her keyboard. The top said "RIO SUITES HOTEL" and underneath was the hastily written email address. Slowly she typed the address onto her screen.

Seven or eight drafts later, the message read:

Justin,

I hope you remember me. We met in Las Vegas on your birthday. I need to talk to you, and I don’t want to put it in an email. I would really appreciate it if you would give me a call at 702-422-6753. It’s kind of important, so I hope I will hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Natalie

She read it over and over again. She had honestly never expected to make use of the address he had given her. Well, maybe if their tour came to town and she needed tickets. As far as she was concerned, their two worlds had come together by accident for one beautiful evening and then had gone back to their respective orbits. Natalie was at peace with that. But sometimes life got in the way. Sighing, she grabbed the mouse and hit "Send."

For the next three days, her heart skipped a beat every time the phone rang. Finally, on the third evening, she picked it up and heard his unmistakable voice on the other end.

"Is Natalie there?"

"This is she."

"Hey! It’s Justin. How are you?"

"I’m doing good. How are you?"

"Great. Sorry it took me a couple days to call you, but we’re in Europe and it’s been a little crazy over here."

"It’s OK. Thanks for calling me."

"Sure. Actually, I was thinking about you anyway, but I didn’t have any way to get in touch with you. I was wondering what you’ve been up to."

"Just the usual. Work, mostly."

"So… what’s up?"

Natalie took a deep breath. God, this was hard. "I have something to tell you," she began, "And I want you to hear me out, OK?"

"OK…" he replied.

She paused, making the decision one last time. She had spent countless hours analyzing her options, and she felt fairly confident this was the way to go. But she didn’t know how he would react. Closing her eyes, she just started talking, her words tumbling out in her rush to get this over with.

"Here’s the thing – I’m pregnant, and the baby is yours. I’m not telling you this because… what I mean is… I’m not going to tell anyone that you’re the father. It can be our secret. I don’t want to cause a scandal for you. And I’m not asking you for anything, Justin. I wasn’t even going to tell you, except I thought you had a right to know. So now you know."

There was stunned silence on the other end of the line.

"I know it’s an awful lot to take in," she continued, "And that’s why I didn’t want to put it in an email. So I appreciate you calling me."

"Um, yeah, of course."

"Well, I’ve got to go. I have to be up early for work tomorrow."

"Right. Um, I’ll call you when we get back to the States." His voice was shaky, and Natalie wondered whether telling him was the right move.

"You don’t have to, Justin. I’m serious about you being off the hook here."

"OK."

"OK, then. Take care."

"Yeah. You, too."

With that, she clicked her phone off and fell back onto her couch, feeling like she’d been through a vigorous workout. So that settled that. She knew she was doing the right thing. She was perfectly capable of raising this child on her own, and she wasn’t about to ruin Justin’s career because of one mistake. Besides, he was still so young, and he was on the road all the time… It was just better this way.

Sighing, she ran her hand over her newly swelling stomach. Soon her condition would be apparent to the world, which meant she needed to come up with a cover story. That made her head hurt, especially when she tried to imagine what she would tell her parents. Natalie yawned and decided it was bedtime. She could think about it all tomorrow.

Natalie leaned back on her couch, propping her feet up on the coffee table directly in front of the fan. Summers in Las Vegas were obviously always hot, but being six months pregnant took "hot" to a whole new level. Aside from the temperature, though, things were going well. Her co-workers thought the father of her baby was an old friend who lived in Seattle, and her parents thought he was a new friend who lived in Vegas. Her parents were understandably a bit confused, but everyone was very supportive. Only her two closest friends in the world knew about Justin.

Natalie felt more confident every day in her ability to make single motherhood work. Her company had good insurance, maternity leave, even an on-site daycare center. There were moments when she wished she had someone to share this experience with, but they passed quickly. She usually just called her friend Kara, who was also going to be her Lamaze coach. Kara was there when Natalie saw the first ultrasound pictures of her baby, which was the most exciting thing yet.

She hadn’t heard from Justin, and she was somewhat relieved about that. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to know his child; it was just less complicated if he didn’t get involved. She had given him a way out, and she was sure he was smart enough to take it. Even as down-to-earth as Justin had been on that blissful night in January, he still had to tend to his public image. The group was back in the U.S. now, and she had seen them on television just the other day. Normally, their interviews greatly amused her, but that day, she had had to turn it off. In any case, everything so far had gone just as she’d hoped. If she could just keep her mom from coming down from Seattle, everything should continue to run smoothly.

Natalie had just finished eating dinner, and she was still sitting at the table, reading the newspaper. The phone rang, and she grabbed it, glad that she had thought to bring it over to the table with her. It was no easy thing to jump out of her chair these days. "Hello," she said cheerfully, expecting Kara.

"Natalie?"

Her entire body froze, except for her heart, which was pounding. "Justin?" she replied. But it was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah, it’s me. How are you?" His voice was low and tentative, as if he was somehow afraid of scaring her.

"I’m… I’m good, actually. Everything is going very well."

"Really? I’m really glad to hear that. I was hoping you were doing well."

"Yeah, the doctor says things couldn’t be more normal."

"Listen, I’m sorry I haven’t called you before now, but… um… I’d really rather explain it to you in person. I’d really like to see you. Is that… Would that be OK?"

Natalie hesitated, a million possibilities racing through her head. She wasn’t sure she wanted to deal with him in the flesh. Being logical and sensible over the phone was a lot easier than it would be while looking into those dark blue eyes.

"Natalie?"

"Sorry. I spaced out for a second there. I guess that would be fine." After all, what did she really have to be afraid of? "Are you here in town?"

"Actually, no, I’m in L.A. We’re finishing up our album. And the thing is, we’ve got this deadline, and I can’t get away. Could you… Would you be willing to come out here? Just, like, for the day, I mean."

"Well, it’s not that far. I guess I could drive out."

"No, I can fly you out. That’s no problem."

"I don’t think an airplane would be the most comfortable place for me right now."

"Oh. Right. Well, then, I’ll hire a car for you so you can just ride along and relax."

"I really can just – "

He interrupted her. "Natalie, will you just…" She could hear the undercurrent of frustration in his voice. "Will you just let me do this for you? Please?"

"All right. That’ll be fine," she relented. "When do you want to get together?"

"Is Saturday doable for you?"

"I don’t think I have any plans, so that’ll work."

"What if I have the car pick you up at nine a.m.? That way, you’ll be here by lunchtime."

"Sure, nine’s OK."

"OK, cool. Um… where do you live?" She gave him the address of her small house. "OK, got it. And, um… What… I can’t believe I’m even asking you this question. What’s your last name? I don’t even know it."

A laugh escaped Natalie’s lips before she could stop it. She didn’t mean to sound harsh, but it was kind of ridiculous that he didn’t know her last name. And he sounded so annoyed that he’d had to ask. It all just struck her as funny. "Moss," she said, giggling, "Natalie Moss."

"OK, Natalie Moss, what’s so funny?"

"I don’t know, you just sounded so… I don’t know. Blame it on the hormones. I blame everything on my hormones these days."

"That’s a pretty good excuse, actually. I’d use that one as much as possible during the short window of opportunity you have." This time they both laughed, and Natalie felt herself relax a little. He continued, "So I’ll see you around lunch on Saturday, then?"

"Yes. Should I bring anything in particular?"

"No, I don’t think so. Just you."

"Alrighty then. I’ll see you Saturday."

"Yeah. Take care."

They exchanged goodbyes, and as soon as Natalie disconnected from him, she dialed Kara’s number. She needed some help digesting this latest turn of events.

She stared out the window as the desert landscape rolled by. Natalie willed herself to relax, but it wasn’t easy. Her mood was obvious even to the baby, who was making like a jumping bean in her stomach. The car Justin had sent was modest but comfortable. She nestled deeper into the leather cushions and wondered why he wanted to see her. It must be important to him if he was willing to have her brought to L.A. Maybe he wanted her to sign a confidentiality statement or something. That would make sense. Sighing, she turned back to the magazine in her hand, trying hard to concentrate.

The limo pulled up in front of a fairly nondescript building, and the driver helped her out of the car. When she walked through the glass doors, she found a receptionist who was obviously on the lookout for her.

"Ms. Moss?" the woman inquired. When Natalie nodded in affirmation, the woman stood up. "If you’ll just follow me, please." She led Natalie down a short hallway to a small sitting room of sorts. "If you’ll just wait here for a minute, I’ll go find Mr. Timberlake."

"Thanks," Natalie said, trying to smile through her nerves. As the receptionist left, Natalie turned to look at the gold records hanging on the wall. Absentmindedly, she rubbed her stomach, silently begging the baby to settle down. Engrossed in reading the plaques, she never heard him come in behind her.

"Natalie?" he said, softly. She whirled around to find him standing a few feet away. "Sorry. I was trying not to scare you," he said.

"I just didn’t hear you come in," she replied. They stood there for a few awkward seconds. Finally she couldn’t take it anymore. "Justin, you’re staring."

He shook his head. "I’m sorry. You’re right. I am."

She chuckled. "It’s OK. I guess I look a little different than the last time you saw me."

"Just a little," he said, smiling shyly at her. "Did you have a good trip out?"

"I did. It was a lovely ride. Beautiful scenery."

"Good. Why don’t we sit down? Can I get you anything?"

"I’m OK," she said, easing herself into an overstuffed chair. He made a move as if to help her, but stopped himself. She felt a little twinge in her heart as she noticed how confused he looked. He sat on the edge of the couch across from her, cracking his knuckles as he cleared his throat. She looked at him expectantly. Small talk wasn’t her forte, and this was, after all, his idea.

"First of all, Natalie, I really am sorry I haven’t called you. I… I was kind of overwhelmed by the news you gave me. I needed some time to sort things out in my head."

"It’s OK, Justin. I meant everything I said to you on the phone. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you."

"Well, that’s just it. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I reached a conclusion. I can’t just walk away from this. Even if you don’t want me around, that child will be mine, too, and I can’t just pretend otherwise."

"It’s not that I don’t want you around. It’s just potentially so complicated."

"I know that. Believe me. And I appreciate your concern for my situation. But I want to be a part of the baby’s life. Please. This is really important to me."

She closed her eyes. This. This was what she had been afraid of. That he would choose the hard road. But the baby was his. How could she deny him, even if it might ultimately be better for everyone involved? Slowly, she opened her eyes. "OK," she said simply.

His face lit up, and she couldn’t help but smile at him. "Really? You’ll let me?"

"It’s not a question of ‘letting’ you, Justin. As you said, this is your child, too. The question is how the hell we keep things quiet."

"I don’t know. We’ll think of something. When are you due?"

"November fourth."

"Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?"

"No, I decided to be surprised. Do you want to know?"

"No," he said quickly, "I like the surprise idea. Have you picked out names?"

"Not definitely. I’m thinking ‘Benjamin’ if it’s a boy or ‘Rebecca’ if it’s a girl."

"Are you Jewish?"

"What?" Natalie responded, startled.

"Those are just such… Bible names. I thought I’d ask."

She burst out laughing. "No, I am not Jewish. I just like those names. Do you not like them?"

"They’re both very nice names. I like them fine."

"OK, then."

"Are you planning to do natural childbirth?"

She looked at him sideways. "Yes. Are you planning to ask me any more questions, or is the Spanish Inquisition over?"

He bowed his head. "Sorry," he said sheepishly, "There’s just so much I want to know. I feel like I’m playing catch-up here."

She chuckled. "I guess, in a way, you are. Will you do me a favor and hand me my purse?"

"Sure," he said, getting up and walking over to her. He gave it to her, and she stopped him before he could go back to his seat.

"Wait… I want to show you something."

He perched on the arm of her chair as she dug in the bag. "You’re letting your hair grow."

"Hm?" she said, looking up briefly, "Oh, yeah. It’s one of the perks of being pregnant."

"I like it longer," he said softly, catching a strand between his thumb and forefinger. For some reason, this made her heart flutter, and she hastened to produce the envelope from her purse.

"Here," she said, offering it to him, "These were just taken last week. Take a look."

He opened the envelope, eyes filled with curiosity. "Oh, wow," he breathed, as he realized he was holding ultrasound pictures of their baby. Lifting one up to the light, he gazed at it reverently. "That’s really it, huh? That is so cool. Can I keep one of these?"

"I brought them for you. I have more at home."

"Thanks," he said, gracing her with one of his effervescent smiles, "I can’t wait to show the guys."

"Do they all know?" she asked, frowning a little.

"Yes. We’re like brothers. We don’t keep secrets; that’s how we’ve lasted so long together."

Just then, the baby kicked her especially hard, and she jumped a little. Automatically, her hand went to her stomach. She looked up to find his eyes glued to the spot where her hand was resting. She realized he was afraid to ask, so she eliminated the need. Reaching out, she lifted his hand and placed it gently on the swell of her belly. Right on cue, the baby kicked again.

"Whoa!" Justin exclaimed, "Doesn’t that hurt?"

"Sometimes," she said, laughing, "But mostly it’s pretty fascinating."

"I’ll say," he replied, bringing his other hand around to rest on her stomach as well. The baby did a few somersaults, almost as if it were showing off. Justin just stared at his hands, clearly in awe of what he was feeling beneath them. Without saying a word, he went down on his knees and gently placed his ear against her navel. Seemingly unbidden, her own hand found its way to his curls and settled there. They sat like that for several long minutes. Even the baby grew mostly still. Despite all her good intentions, she felt so content right now. This was how it was meant to be: a man and a woman sharing the mystery and the joy of creating a new life. If only it could be that simple for them.

Finally, hating to break the spell, she whispered, "I think he knows who you are. This is the quietest he’s been all day."

Justin lifted his head to look at her. "He?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

She smiled and shrugged. "Just a hunch."

He chuckled and stood up. "Well, I’m hungry. Are you interested in having lunch with us?"

"Sure," she replied, "But you’re going to have to lead the way to a bathroom first."

"I think that can be arranged."

She started to struggle out of her chair, and this time he didn’t hesitate. Wrapping one strong arm around her back, he practically lifted her to her feet.

"Thanks," she said.

"Anytime," came the reply, along with a twinkle in his eye that she had to look away from. As it was, the brief contact with his body had caused a momentary flashback to the night that started all of this. He held the door open for her, touching the small of her back with his free hand as she walked through. A chill went straight up her spine, causing her to shiver and then blush. Damn hormones.

After a quick pit stop, he led her into the control room of the studio, where JC was seated at the board. She heard Joey’s voice coming through the speakers and turned to see him standing in the booth, singing. He sounded good, even without the backing vocals, and she couldn’t resist turning to Justin. "You guys really should let him sing more often, you know."

Justin rolled his eyes. "Not you, too."

The song was fading out, and JC noticed their presence for the first time. He punched a button on the console and said, "Hey Joe – ready for a lunch break?"

"Definitely," Joey’s reply was heard through the speakers.

JC stood up and took off his headphones, offering his hand to Natalie. "Hi. Justin says we’ve met before, but I don’t remember it very well."

"It was just for a second. I’m Natalie," she said, giving his hand a firm shake.

"Nice to meet you again, Natalie."

Joey came through the door, pulling on a shirt over the tank top he was wearing. He wasted no time. "You must be Natalie," he said, sticking out his hand.

"What gave that away? It was my perfume, right?"

There was a pause before they all realized she was joking. Then they dissolved into laughter, and the tension in the room dissipated. The little group headed still further up the hall to a small room with a conference table that held several boxes of pizza. JC went to a fridge in the corner and gathered four bottles of water, then passed them out. Justin looked at Natalie and shrugged, "It’s nothing fancy, but it’ll fill you up for a while."

"It’s fine," she said.

They sat next to each other at the table, across from JC and Joey. She had to hide her smile as she watched the three men inhale their food. Naturally, she was still eating when they began chatting randomly, mostly about the new record. Somehow the conversation turned to the impending birth of the baby. Joey, of course, now considered himself an expert on the subject. She had to laugh at what a stereotypical new father he was. But the light in his eyes when he talked about his daughter was genuine, and Natalie was bowled over by his sweetness. In fact, all three of them were so normal that it was hard to believe they were the same people she’d watched on TV so many times.

Eventually they were done with lunch, and they all ambled back to the studio. Justin turned to her, saying, "I have to lay down some vocals so we can finish off this track. Do you want to stay and listen for a little while, or would you rather get going?"

"I think I’d like to stay and listen, if that’s OK."

His face brightened. "That’d be great. It shouldn’t take me too long."

She settled into the corner of the couch behind JC. Joey made small talk with her while they were getting set up, but when JC cued up the song, Joey took his cell phone and went out into the hallway. For the next hour, she listened as Justin sang his parts of the song over and over again. She couldn’t hear much difference from one version to the next, but still they kept on. It was a midtempo ballad of sorts, and Justin was using the lower end of his range. Natalie much preferred that to his falsetto vocals, and he sounded particularly sexy today. Finally, JC was satisfied, and he called Justin back into the control room.

Justin bounded through the door, "Well, C, what’d you think? I think I nailed it on the fifth one."

JC responded, "Either that or the seventh one. It sounded good, man, it really did." They exchanged what looked dangerously like a secret handshake, and Natalie began to feel like an intruder. She cleared her throat quietly, and Justin turned to her, his eyes shining brightly.

"What’d you think, Nat? Do you like the song?"

"I do, actually. When’s the album coming out?"

"Second week in November," JC replied, "Just in time for the holiday shopping season, of course."

"But we might push it back to the third week," Justin added. JC looked at him strangely but said nothing.

"Well, I’d better start heading back," she said, "I’ve still got a long ride." Again she struggled to rise, and again Justin was at her side in a flash. She bid goodbye to JC and to Joey, who was still on his phone in the hall. Then she and Justin made their way back to the room they had been in originally.

They stood facing each other, without speaking. Finally Justin asked, "May I?" and indicated her stomach.

"Of course," she replied, and he placed his hands there once again. He drew closer to her until they were in an awkward sort of embrace. She was terrified he was going to kiss her, but he just brushed his lips softly against her cheek.

"I’m so glad you came out here. Thanks again for the pictures."

"You’re welcome. I’m glad I came, too."

"Really?"

"Really."

He smiled. "Good. I’ll give you a call soon, then, OK?"

"Sounds good."

He walked her as far as the doors, but let the driver help her from there. She waved to him one last time, but she couldn’t tell if he saw her through the smoked glass. As the car threaded its way through the Los Angeles traffic, she collapsed against the seat. She was unable to make heads or tails of her emotions right now. Logically, she knew she needed to keep Justin at arm’s length, because there would be few days like this one. Yet she had what she supposed was a natural yearning to be with him, the father of her baby. He was so genuine and so sweet, and he made her feel special. When she was with him, it was so easy to forget the complications. But now that she was alone, they came flooding back into her head. She tried to sort it all out, until her brain just grew weary. As the car finally cleared the outskirts of L.A., Natalie drifted off to sleep.

Justin did call her the next day. And the day after that. She grew so accustomed to his phone calls that she worried when she didn’t hear from him for more than a day. Their conversations were initially all about baby stuff. He had apparently borrowed a baby book from Joey and Kelly, and now he had endless questions for her. Eventually, however, the discussions grew more wide-ranging. Justin was nervous about their upcoming album, and he opened his heart to her about it. They talked about her family and why she had moved to Las Vegas. He confessed that he still hadn’t told his mother about the baby, and Natalie urged him to do it soon. Some days they talked about nothing but the weather in their respective locales, but even that seemed to help their friendship grow.

One day in early October, he called her from New York City, where they were taping some talk show or other. After the usual questions about how she was feeling, he said, "Well, I finally told my mom."

"Really?" Natalie responded, "How did it go?"

"Pretty well, actually. She started to lecture me, but then she said something like, ‘Well, with all those girls throwing themselves at you, I guess I should just be happy this didn’t happen when you were 16.’"

Natalie gasped. "She didn’t!"

Justin was laughing. "Oh, yes, she did. That’s just my mom, though. She’s very straightforward. I think you would like her. Anyway, after that, she got kind of excited. So it’s cool."

"See? I told you the grandchild thing would win out in the end."

"You were right. Hey, can I ask you about something?"

"When are you not asking me about something?"

"Very funny. I’m serious. This is something we haven’t talked about."

"What is it?"

"What about… I mean, what are we… Can I…"

"Justin, spit it out."

"I really want to be there when the baby’s born, and I have no idea if that’s OK with you."

"Of course it’s OK with me. I hadn’t brought it up because I didn’t know if it would be possible, and I didn’t want you to feel bad if it wasn’t."

"Oh, I’ll make it possible. I can make arrangements to be in town from the 2^nd to the 8^th, and we’re in L.A. before that. As long as it’s all right with you, I promise you I’ll be there."

"I don’t know if you should promise me…"

"I said I’ll be there." Now he sounded angry. For some reason, her doubt had upset him. "I do have some control over my own life, you know."

"OK, OK, I’m sorry. I believe you. Calm down." There was a moment of silence on the other end, and she was afraid she’d made him even angrier. But when he spoke again, his voice was quiet and heavy with emotion.

"I swear I’ll be there, Nat. If it was up to me, I’d be there with you right now. I already feel like I’ve missed so much. I am not going to miss the birth."

"I know you would, Justin. It’s OK, it really is. Stop feeling so guilty about it." Her voice was low as she tried to soothe him.

"OK. So I’ll make the arrangements to be there."

"That’ll be great."

"OK. Well, I’ve got to go do an interview. I’ll talk to you tomorrow."

"Bye, Justin."

"Bye, Nat."

She clicked off the phone and stared at it. Every once in a while his emotions surprised her. And she didn’t know why he had taken to calling her "Nat." No one else did, not even her family. But it just sounded right coming from him, and so she let him continue to do it.

Natalie sat up with a start. Her heart was pounding and she was drenched in sweat. Nightmares had not been uncommon for her during her pregnancy, but this one had been horrific. She was trembling and thirsty, but she felt rooted to her spot in the bed. Without thinking, she reached for the phone on the nightstand and punched a number on her speed dial. It wasn’t until she heard the ring on the other end that she even looked at the clock. Shit. It was 4:30 in Chicago. She was going to wake him up, if he even had his phone on.

On the fourth ring, she heard a very sleepy "Hello?"

"Justin, I’m so sorry I woke you up."

The voice sounded much more alert now. "Nat? What’s wrong?"

"Nothing serious. It’s just… I just had a nightmare. A bad one. It scared me. I don’t know why I called you."

"It’s OK. You can call me whenever you want. Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I don’t think so. Just… Will you just talk to me so I can think about something else?"

"Sure. You want to hear what that lunatic Chris said to Oprah today?"

"Of course."

So Justin began telling his story, and he made her laugh. Soon her nightmare was a distant memory, and she managed to get out of bed for a drink of water. Snuggling back under the covers, she listened as Justin moved on to a story about his two little brothers coming to visit him. That was the last thing Natalie remembered hearing before her alarm went off. The phone lay next to her in bed. Smiling, she picked it up and turned it off.

She called him from work later that day. "Sorry I fell asleep on you."

He let out a low, throaty chuckle. "Naw, it’s OK. That was the idea. I knew if I babbled long enough, you’d fall asleep."

"At the expense of your own rest."

"Your sleep is much more important than mine right now. You need to build up your energy."

"You are so sweet. I don’t tell you that enough." She swore she could hear him blushing.

"Ah… it’s nothing."

"It’s not nothing. That nightmare really spooked me. Thank you."

"You’re welcome," he said softly.

"Um… I have to get back to work. Talk to you later?"

"Count on it," he said. She smiled and hung up the phone.

Chapter Three

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